Friday, August 29, 2014

Late on the Second Day


It was only the second day of school and I was late. I took the walk of shame, passing all the other moms who were on time and now chatting happily as I walk by with my first grader and two littles in tow. That sinking feeling of failure pulling me down. I signed her in and joked that somebody had to be late today.

It was hard to shake it off and still now I don’t know if I completely have.  

I have this perfect picture of how things should go in the morning.  You know this list maybe. Yours is plus or minus a few.

Kids neatly dressed
Healthy breakfast eaten
School lunch packed
Me dressed (at least not showing up in my pjs)
Teeth brushed
Hair done
Beds made
Breakfast cleaned up
Morning Bible story read
Prayers said
No nagging kids
Everything pleasant...peaceful
and of course
On time...

And when it does not go like this - or even if I come close but fall short by one or two - I am so quick to sink into the despair of my perceived failures.  

What’s crazy is I would never beat up another mom for having a morning of missed expectations. Yet, I can’t give myself that same grace.   

Why?

Because I forget. I forget the promise of these words.  

“My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.”

Jesus gave these words to Paul when he was bemoaning his own weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9), as I was this morning.

Grace. (Not the kind we say before dinner.) This grace is God’s favor. It’s His free gift of salvation to all who believe. We didn’t deserve it or earn it. Yet it’s given freely.  It’s “I’m perfectly loved and perfectly accepted.”    

And, yes, His grace is really all I need.

That list of expectations never will leave me with a heart full of peace. We can always find a way we fall short. 

Yes, I’m weak. Yeah, I don’t like saying it -- but it’s for real.

But that’s where God’s promise works best: in my weakness. That’s where His power works best because I stop living from a place of earning and start living from a place of “I already have.” I already have His love, His forgiveness, His favor, His grace.  And that is all I need.

His Grace + My Weakness = His Power Revealed

Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 2 Corinthians 12:9 NLT

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

She Just Needed a Rest...



There comes a moment when you just know that all your child needs is a nap.  That happened recently with my littlest, she is almost two.  

The meltdown started about 9:00 in the morning.  Back and forth she went between tantrums or wanting to be held.  About an hour into this, I knew, what she was ready for a nap even through her normal nap time is not until after lunch.  

I headed to the nursery and got her settled into my lap with pacy and blankey.  It was quiet. It was dark. (Thankfully her two big sister were playing sweetly at this moment!)   As I sang and rocked, I could feel her little body begin to relax.  Yes rest would come. It was time.

And I prayed...

This past few months have been very difficult.  I’ve been overwhelmed with just even the normal routines of life.  My hubby took a new position at work recently and has been gone more.  The three kids are still little.  That baby, now almost two, is BUSY.  Those are the obvious challenges, but it’s bigger than just the obvious.  Honestly, “I just can’t handle any more.”  And in my pride, I hate admitting that.  

“Lord what do you have for me right now?”

Tears sting my eyes.  

“I am just so overwhelmed. The busy fall schedule is coming and there are things to say yes to.”
 
And in the quiet moment the Lord whispered to my heart.

“It’s time for a rest.”

Yes I need rest - not more - just rest.  My emotions and actions like my sweet toddler’s are saying, “It’s time to rest.”  I’ve been throwing a bit of my own tantrum.   I’ve been harsh with the girls and rude to my hubby.  And just like my sweet toddler it’s now time to rest.

So I made the call to say no to some things.  My heart is filled with peace knowing I’m going to get the rest that I need for this season.  

The world around us tell us don’t stop--don’t rest.  We idolize work.  We are addicted to busy.   

When I called to say no to an opportunity to lead and serve, my friend said, “Sometimes God gives us strength to serve and other times He calls us to rest.”  

For this season I’m choosing a rest.  And I’m hopeful, I know that rest refreshes and strengthens for the coming season ahead.

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.”  Matthew 11:28

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Babydoll Party


My little Madie loves baby dolls.  She always has a doll in tow.  So I knew this had to be the theme for her 4th birthday party.


The Decorations
Pink polka-dots with a bit of vintage.  I got the party paper wears at a great discount online site.  I used to make the flower tissue puffs but you can get them in a two pack at hobby lobby for the same price at buying tissue paper.  So its a time saver.  I made the garland from dollies.  Just fold in half and string on baby yarn.  The baby clip art printables I ordered as a download from Esty.  I'm totally doing this again instead of trying to make my own.  I had never made garland with strips of fabric before.  It was cute but a bit time consuming. 

The Eats
I saw the watermelon baby carriage on Pinterest.  It was pretty easy to do if you have done a watermelon basket before.  You just use toothpicks to hold the wheels and handle in place.  I served a simple snack - fruit and animal crackers  (I had not had animal crackers in forever and could not stop eating them myself!)  Cupcakes were from the box - Strawberry.  I used to try homemade but they never seemed to be as good as the box.  Let me know if you have a great recipe! 

The Activities
I set up three stations that the our guest could play at with their baby dolls.  We also decorted "diaper bags" and had a stroller race.

The Favors
I made baby diapers from patterned felt and gave the guest baby doll bottles that said, "You're a doll! Thanks for coming to my party."


It was the sweetest party ever!  Madie loved playing babies with her friends and I loved watching the girls play too.  If you have a daughter who loves playing babies, I would totally recommend this party theme. 

A Heavenly Father for Father’s Day


I made the drive to the most unlikeliest of places to see my dad on Father’s day...in prison.

As I drove up my heart hurt.  Hurt because I didn’t have what every little girl really wants.  A Father that can be her hero.  A Father who is faithful.  A Father who is there.  Though I’ve grieved this many times before, Father’s Day always reminds me of the hurt again.  

Yet in the midst of the hurt, I had hope.  

Hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us. Romans 5:5

Yes I had hope.  Hope because I know my journey is not done yet.  God has been patient with me, as I’ve walked the path of choosing forgiveness.  And He will continue to walk with me.  He never expected my hurt to be healed overnight.  He whispered His Truth over and over again to my hurting heart.  I’m deeply and completely loved! (1 John 4:10)

He is a Father to the fatherless. Psalms 68:5

Yes at times, I feel fatherless.  But I do have a perfect heavenly Father.  One who is my hero.  One who will not fail me.  All earthly father’s will fail.  They are human just like us.  Some seem to fail in our eyes more than others.  If that has been part of your journey my heart hurts right along with yours.  

You received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, “Abba”, Father.  Romans 8:15

So I’m choosing to rejoice today.  Because, though my earthly father has not been what every little girls wants, I have a amazing heavenly Father who is all I could want and so much more.  The best part... you can rejoice too.

Monday, May 26, 2014

Art Party - Seventeen Girls with Paint!

 
I can't believe that there were seventeen little girls painting all at one time! What's move amazing is that everything and everyone stayed clean!  What we do for our kids!  My oldest daughter, Mckenna, turned six.  She loves art!  So I knew this was a perfect theme party for her!

When I first started "pintresting" Art Party ideas, I was optimistic about little kids with paint. (Call me crazy!) But as the hours drew closer to the party, my anxiety started to sky rocket!  I began to think I was crazy for attempting this.  Thankfully I had a great team of helpers -- Hubby, Papa, Nana, Auntie T.  I call them the party crew!  Here's a look at the party.

Decorations
Rainbow colors were my inspiration.  Most of the hanging decorations I got from a friend and from our local Walmart.  I made the cupcake toppers.  I found a cute clip-art online and then printed them on sticker paper.   

Art Activities
I had three activities - canvas painting, sun catchers, and messy art station.  I also covered the main table with white butcher paper.  The girls had fun coloring when they first arrived and while they were eating their snacks.


Snacks & Drinks
I served rainbow fruit kabobs, rainbow turkey roll ups, rainbow rice crispy treats, and rainbow cupcakes. 

Birthday Girl!

Take Home
We gave each guest three homemade crayons.  The tag read, "Thank you for making my party a masterpiece!" Quick Tip: Place the crayons in the freezer before peeling off the paper wrapper.  So much faster!

The party was a great sucess.  Everyone one has a splendid time and the best part was watching Mckenna enjoy herself and be surrounded by friends who care about her. 

Saturday, April 26, 2014

Missplaced Roots: Finding our Identity in the Wrong Places


I idealized becoming a mother.  Who doesn't? It an amazing gift in whatever way it comes. I’d dream about holding a cute baby girl and cuddling her sweetly.  My first pregnancy was a cake walk - literally!  Along with the pregnancy glow, I gained an extra 50 pounds!  In my quest for the perfect natural birth, I took not just one but two birthing classes!  


Little did I know I was heading into an identity crisis.  

The dictionary says an identity crisis is a period of uncertainty and confusion in which a person's sense of identity becomes insecure, typically due to a change in their expected aims or role in society.  

For me that was becoming a mom.


Let’s just say my dreams of motherhood did not match reality.  What happened was not in any way the a blissful-natural birth I pictured. 


The first two weeks of having baby Mckenna home went by pretty smoothly.  But I was not prepared for the weeks and months to follow of feeling helpless and a like failure at being a mom.  I had all these ideals in my head of what being a great mom looked like and that is just not what reality bought.  

Now I was home all day, sleep deprived, still looked four months prego, nursing a baby ALL day, and watching ER re-runs.  I could barely shower and get dressed let alone make a meal for my family.  I didn’t know who I was anymore.  

Who Am I?

We all have asked ourselves - Who am I?  We all identify ourselves by something or someone. Whatever we choose to be our identity we are hoping it will bring us life!  The problem is that our sin nature without intervention will keep us running to all the wrong places.

What if we thought of our lives like a small, pretty flower.  Let's go with this illustration for a minute.  We are all looking somewhere to place our identity.  A plant needs a place where it can put down roots and grow.  What if finding our identity was like planting our lives is different flower pots.  


Seven Identity Flower Pots

Relationships 
God made us for relationship with him and with others.  The problem is we can root our identity in who we know.  There will never be a relationship that I can find or there will never be enough relationships to tell me “your loved.”  Because this pot is empty is will ALWAYS leave me needing more love.  How can we know if we are rooting our identity in relationships?
  • How do you react to rejection from others?  
  • Do you regularly name drop to others?
Galatians 1:10 
Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant.


Success
We can root our identity in what we accomplish. We all love getting things done and being successful but we can let what we do tell us we matter.  If I’m placing my identity here there will never be enough success.  I’ll always be driven for more.  How do you know if you are rooting your identity here.  Ask yourself...
  • What is your response to failure?
  • Do you causally hint about your success?
Colossians 3:23 -
Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.

Appearance 
Our American society is obsessed about appearance.  You cannot see something on TV, the computer, or in the shopping store that have not been air brushed.  The world tell us every day that what is on the outside matters.  So early in life we can root our identity in our appearance.  If we are placing our identity in our appearance we will never be satisfied.  We will become obsessed about having the “perfect look.”  So what are the signs that we are finding our identity in appearance.  Could you ask yourself...
  • Do I go to excessive lengths to pamper my looks?
  • Do I often become depressed appearance? 
1 Samuel 16:7
But the Lord said to Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

Possessions 
We can root our identity in what we have or what we don’t have.  If I’m letting my identity be placed here then I’m always going to be letting what I have tell me I’m significant.  And what I have will NEVER be enough.  I'll always need more.  Do you...?
  • Do I continue to purchase things that I don’t need?
  • When I see someone with something I’d like, where do my thoughts go?
Luke 12:34
Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.


Ministry 
Did you know that we can root our identity in what we do for God.  This is an easy trap and one that may be harder to realize.  Early in college I was planning on doing full time missions work.  As the Lord began to work on my heart, He showed me that I was idolizing the position of how I served.  And yes we still do this in church today.  We idolize certain way we see people serving.  Does it matter that you are a bible study leader, or work at the mission, or watch or neighbors kids.  No it doesn't matter one bit.  How we serve has nothing to do with how Jesus sees us.  We can ask ourselves...
  • Does is matter how you serve or are you happy just to serve?  
  • Do you label some serving as more important than others?
1 Corinthians 12:18
But our bodies have many parts, and God has put each part just where he wants it.

Health
We can root our identity in health problems.  We can let our sickness or handicaps define who we are.  This pot is empty too.  If I place my identity in being healthy or define it by a handicap, I’ll always be looking for “getting better.”  I’ll become a martyr to my situation.  
What’s a sign that we find our identity here?
  • Is your health troubles one of the first things people know about you?
  • Do you find yourself thinking life would be better if ________?
2 Corinthians 12:9
Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.


Past 
The last place we can root our identity in the pain of our past.  You and I can let what has happened to us tell us we are unworthy and unlovable.  Everyone single one of us here has a past.  We all have things that we wish would not have happened or we had not done. Trouble is all too often we miss place our identity here.  This pot is empty too.  If we let our past say who we are we can never accept who God says we are. Do you find yourself saying...

"I’ll never be good enough because that happen to me or because I did that."  
"No one would ever love me if they knew about my past." 

2 Corinthians 5:17
This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! 

These are just seven places that I have misplaced my identity.  There are many more.  I share these ones because I have battled not finding my identity here.  


A beautiful flower pot can look appealing and promising but it is empty.

Each time I have placed my identity here it has left me wilted and thirsting for more. 

 Lost in Comparison


You see when we let these things say who we are then we begin comparing.  The dictionary says comparing means to examine in order to find similarities and differences.  
  • If I’m identified by my relationships, I’m always going to be comparing who I know to others. I’ll compare my marriage to their marriage.  I’ll compare my kids to their kids.  And on and on...
  • If I’m identified by my success, I”ll always be measuring mine to others.
  • If I’m identified by my appearance, I’ll always be looking at other girls and thinking I could dress better, have a better body, have a better personality.
  • If I’m identified by possessions, I’ll always compare my house, my car, my clothes my vacations to others.
  • If I’m identified by my ministry I’ll always compare mine and think it’s not as significant as others.
  • If I’m identified by my health, I’ll always compare mine to others.  
  • If I’m identified by my past, I’ll compare mine and I’ll feel broken and helpless.
These are not bad things.  These are not evil.  But they were never meant to be places that we find who we are.   This is not were we are to plant our lives.

Rooted in the Right Place

But there is a place where our roots can grow deep and our lives can flourish. 


Only by placing our lives in Christ can we find a lasting identity.  His Spirit and His truth is what our lives need.

Let's choose to grow our lives deep in the soil of Christ's love.  Not in these other things.  
His Love -- that only place where our roots can go down deep. 

Ephesians 3:17-19
Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.

A Daughter's Tea Time

I have had this idea in my mind for some time. 

Mulling it over... Considering what it would look like... 

Once as a young girl, my mom took my sister and I to a High Tea.  It was a special afternoon that we shared - sipping tea in fancy hats. 

As I've matured as a mom, I've come to see more and more that each mom has their own special way of being mom.  The mom that is just right for the children you have been blessed with.  I'm learning to celebrate what are my strengths and incorporate that into my children's hearts. 

That is were the idea for Tea Parties with my daughters began.

Here is what it has looked like so far.
  • We invite two friends, one for each of my girls. 
  • We choose a menu for our guest.  So far its been one savory and one sweet recipe.  Nothing fancy just something simple that the girls can make with me. 
  • We set the table together.  I chose a fun tea set that would grow with my girls through the years.   We place the table cloth, dishes, and center piece. 
  • We get all dressed up.  What could be more fun than an afternoon of dress up and tea with friends. 
  • Enjoy tea time with friends.  This has been a great way for me to teach my daughter's simple manners and etiquette, something that seems to be a lost art these days.   
It's been my goal to have one once of a month with my girls.  We've come pretty close.  I love knowing that I'm investing in my daughters in a way that incorporates who I am as a women and mother.   The memories we are making with my daughter's tea time will be treasured for years to come. 








Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Who I am in Christ - The Bride


The word Bride can bring certain images to mind.  Maybe you think of a wedding dress.  The color white.  A beautiful princess.  Maybe even the Princess Bride.  Or do you think of the day when you were a bride yourself?

For many of us, we dreamed of the day when we would be the bride.  We are so excited that someone had chosen us to marry.  And then...if you were a bride like me, you went into hyper-drive planning for your special day.   I thought about every last detail of our wedding; my dress, the flowers, the bridesmaids, the food, the music, the favors.  I wanted everything to be perfect.  Which of course it was not. 

If you have been in the church for some time you have heard the phase “The Bride of Christ.”  Seems like a pretty simple think to understand.  Or maybe not.  It hit me the other day while I was doing house work (All dirty, sweaty, overwhelmed and flustered - because trying to clean with three small kids is exhausting) “Wait a minute, I don’t feel like a Bride and I sure don’t look like a bride!"  I went on to pray Jesus, “Show me what you are really talking about with this Bride thing because I’m not feeling it!”

Knowing who we are in Christ is so important to growing as a believer.  It makes sense to me that I'm God's child, that I'm His friend, and that I'm His servant, but bride just doesn’t make sense.  
So I began to pray, read the Bible, ponder, and pray some more.  This is what the Lord began to show me.  If you want to know what being Christ's Bride looks like, you need to look at what Christ has done for you.

The Bible talks in many places as marriage being an image of our relationship with God.
In the Old Testament, Israel was called the bride or the wife.  In the New Testament, the church is called the bride or wife.   
Ephesians 5:22-33  (NASB)
22 Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. 24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. 28 So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; 29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, 30 because we are members of His body. 31 For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. 32 This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.

So It's familiar to me because it names the things my husband should be doing, right?  But what if we looked at this passage not as what our husbands need to do for us but what Jesus did for us - His Bride.

He has authority over us
He is our savior
We are to align ourselves under him
He loves us
He gave himself up for us - by His death on the cross
He sanctifies us - that is He sets us apart as his own
He cleanses us by the washing of water - through baptism 
He cleanses us by the word - the good new
We are glorious before him 
We have no spots, no wrinkle, or the like
We are holy
We are blameless
He nourishes us
He cherishes us
We are united with His body

Amazing!  This is what Jesus has done for His church - His bride - for you and me.  When I first started thinking about the Bride of Christ, I was focusing on what I did to be the Bride. That is easy for every bride to do.  That's every for any of us to do - self.  But it is not about what we do it's all about what He did!

Look at verse 32 again.  I hadn’t really given much thought to the words, “This mystery is great.”  This is what John Piper in Desiring God has to say, “The mystery is this: God did not create the union of Christ and the church after the pattern of human marriage - just the reverse! He created human marriage on the pattern of Christ's relation to the church...He patterned marriage very purposefully after the relationship between His Son and the church, which he had planned from all eternity.  

Wow, God has such an amazing husband-like love and desire for us his Church.  So much intimacy takes place in a marriage.  A special closeness that does not happen in a father to child, friend to friend, or master to servant relationship.  I have trouble soaking it in.  

Maybe part of the trouble is a see all the failures in my own marriage, in the marriage of my divorced parents, and in the marriages of our church, and in the marriages of our culture. There is so much brokenness, fears, secrets, bitterness, dashed hopes.  It leaves me not being able to see clearly the image of Christ as the bridegroom and the church as his Bride.  

But the brokenness we see now is because of sin.  It twists the good pattern God made for us.  
But the truth is that Christ cares for us so deeply that He would call us his Bride!  Yet we His Bride have such a hard time seeing ourselves that way. 

Do you remember that line from Snow White.  “Mirror mirror on the wall who is the fairest of them all.”  Don't we each crave’s to be a lovely bride.  There is that deep yearning in our hearts to be loved, cherish, and cared for and yet no human relationship - friend, parent, or even husband - can fully satisfy that longing.  We look at ourselves in the mirror and instead of seeing a beautiful bride Christ died for we see:

Our weakness - I just can never get it all done.  I'll never have it all together. 
Our failures - Oh I blew it again! I’ll never live that down.  
Our imperfections - Oh if I just didn’t have....this hair, this face, this personality.  
Our past - If only that horrible thing had never happened: that death, that illness, that addiction, that abuse, that abortion, that affair, that divorce.

The mirror is really good at lying to us.  It’s our accuser, Satan!  He will use our weaknesses, failures, imperfections, past, or anything to keep us from seeing the Truth - God’s truth.  

Isaiah 61 was written for the Jews who were in captivity in Babylon in order to give them hope. These Old Testament scriptures are fulfilled in Jesus. 

Isaiah 61:10
I delight greatly in the Lord;
  my soul rejoices in my God.
For he has clothed me with garments of salvation
  and arrayed me in a robe of his righteousness,
as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest,
  and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.

It was His perfect and complete death on the cross that accomplished our salvation.  He has clothed us with salvation and arrayed us in a robe of his righteousness.  We are beautifully dressed before him.  He has made us his Bride.  We are fully loved we don’t have spots or wrinkles when we looks at us.  He cherishes us.  He is passionate about us.  He is the perfect bridegroom. 

Here is a challenge for each of us.  Every time you put a new garment this week.  When you get up in the morning.  When you change for the gym.  When you go to bed at nigh remember Isaiah 61:10.  Because of Christ, you are clothed with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of his righteousness.  

Blessings, 

Shelly